I don't want to be an angry mom. When my girls grow up and think back on their childhood, I don't want their first memory to be me yelling at them. I want to be patient. I want my words to be appropriately seasoned with grace and truth. I want them to catch me rejoicing often, thanking God for His abundant blessings. I want them to see me taking the time to read "Daisy Head Mayzie" or "The Berenstain Bears" ONE. MORE. TIME. I want them to see me disciplining them out of love and care for them, and not out of anger. I want them to see the love of the Father in me. This is my desire. I often spend many hours of my day thinking about how I've failed them and how I long from the depths of my heart to do better. Yesterday was that kind of day.
What does my anger accomplish? Nothing. It might make me feel better for just a brief moment, but regret instantly follows. In a flash, I see a broken spirit before me; a sweet child who needed grace and instead received judgment. That's not the mom I want to be.
I know the answer. Yielding. Instead of grieving the Holy Spirit, moving out of the way so that He can take control. Rejoicing, always. No matter what the circumstances around me, making the choice to rejoice in being blessed. Faithfulness. Spending daily time with Him. Choosing to make time for the word instead of the T.V. Confession. Instantly repenting when I fail instead of simmering in anger and guilt throughout the day.
Tomorrow is always a new day; a chance to start again. Tomorrow will not be perfect, I'll make mistakes. The kids will disobey. The cats will make messes. Things won't happen the way I planned. So what. My children will only be children for a fleeting moment. I don't want to miss my opportunity to be the kind of mom God desires for them to have.
"Rejoice always, pray without ceasing, give thanks in all circumstances; for this is the will of God in Christ Jesus for you." ~1 Thessalonians 5:16-18
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