Pray

I've been very discouraged this week.  It's been a hard week.  When we started this road of adoption, I knew the journey would be difficult.  Adoption isn't for wimps; I say this not to disparage anyone, because motherhood in general isn't for wimps.  But I think those of you who've traveled this road with me would agree that adoption isn't for the faint of heart.

At the end of August, we got a referral.  That's it.  That's all I can say publicly, because we've been waiting for almost 8 weeks to receive a letter of acceptance.  It's supposed to take 4 weeks.  So now I'm fretting, second guessing, worrying, wondering...praying.  I'm afraid.  Maybe all of this consternation is for naught, but it's so hard to know.  For now, all we can do is wait.

I have our dossier complete.  I have each necessary document, notarized, and safely tucked away in plastic page protectors.  Normally, this would be a cause for celebration.  The problem is that we had to amend our home study, and we've been waiting to receive the amendment for 2 weeks now.  We can't turn in our dossier until we send the amendment to US Customs and Immigration, and then receive an approval notice from them.  Until we get the documents we need, we are being forced to wait.

I don't know about you, but when uncertainties start to creep in, discouragement starts to settle in.  It permeates my peace and spreads like a cancer, infecting my whole life, and shading my entire outlook.  Before I know it, everything in my life seems to have this gray matter covering it.  In case you can't tell, I tend toward melancholy traits.

Would you pray for us?  Pray for peace in uncertainty.  Pray for the process.  And most of all, pray for contentment as we wait.  I desire to come through this process changed, but changed for the better.  I want God to use this to develop a strength of character in me that I've never know before.  I know He's using this process to refine us, and it's exciting and terrifying all at once.