Adoption Story, pt. 2

Taiyuan was very difficult for me.  Aside from the emotional aspects of bringing a new child into our family and being away from our other child, there was the isolation.  Taiyuan is a city of 4 million people, the largest city and the capital of the province of Shanxi.  It is located in Northern China, south and west of Beijing.  The province is known for coal mining/production.  As a result, the air is extremely polluted.  On most days, we couldn't even tell whether the sun was shining or if it was cloudy because the haze was so thick.  Also, NO ONE spoke English in this city, or rather very few people did.  Even those who did, spoke very little.  Having been in Zhengzhou (more mainstream China) before, I knew this would likely be the case, but it's still hard.

We arrived in Taiyuan on Saturday, July 14.  Our guide, Anna, took us to our hotel.  She brought us to our room to make sure everything was okay.  I asked her about WiFi, and she told me there was no WiFi in the hotel.  It took everything in me not to cry in front of her.  Without WiFi, there'd be no calling Juliet via video chat.  After she left, the tears began to flow, and they didn't stop until the next day.  Fortunately, she was wrong, there was WiFi in the lobby, and she called us a few minutes later to tell us as much, but I was done.  I was tired, and I missed Juliet.  I was ready to grab Liesel and fly home just as quickly as I could.  We ate dinner in the hotel that night.  The waitresses couldn't understand any English, so they brought in a woman who worked at the front desk, because she could speak just a little.  She ordered some food for us, and it was good, but I couldn't stop crying.  I was so embarrassed.  A waitress even brought some napkins to our table for me.  A thunderstorm rolled in while we ate, and I found it appropriate considering my mood.  The rain lingered into the evening as we sat in our hotel room, alone.

The next day, Jeremy and Heidi Turner (and their two teenage kids, T and K) arrived, as did Hubert and Vicki Keller.  Words cannot tell you how relieved we were to have other Americans at the hotel with us.  The Turner's were there to adopt a three year old girl from the city of Taiyuan, and the Keller's were adopting a two year old boy from a city a couple of hours away.  Our daughter, Liesel, was coming from Da Tong, four hours to the north of Taiyuan.  We were glad to see the Turner's again.  We went with them to the local grocery store, Spar, to get some water, snacks and food to eat in our rooms.  In the evening, we went to Pizza Hut with them and the Keller's.  It was such a wonderful time of fellowship.  We enjoyed the meal and the conversation.  We all shared our fears about our babies (which we were getting the next day) and tried to encourage one another.  The evening was so enjoyable, but we were all looking forward to the next day, gotcha day.  Jeremy and Heidi were going to the Civil Affairs Bureau at 9:30 am to get their daughter, and Hubert, Vicki, hubs and I were going at 2:30pm.

The day dragged.  It was awful.  We had breakfast and then tried to keep busy until 2:30 pm.  I took a shower, a nap, hubs and I played cards, I played angry birds on my phone, wrote in my journal, did my quiet time... Finally, the time was near.  Jeremy and Heidi had asked for a few pairs of chopsticks from me that we had bought the day before.  At 2 pm, I called to see if I could run them over to their room.  I hadn't been nervous about getting Liesel until that point.  When we walked in the room, I saw their daughter and burst into tears.  Their daughter, M, was BEAUTIFUL, but so sad.  She was adopted out of a very loving foster home.  Her transition was and continues to be a very difficult one.  When we came in the room, she was crying.  Suddenly, I got a glimpse of what very much could have been our reality, and I was scared.  The truth is, adoption is hard.  From the paperwork to the placement, none of it is easy for the child or the family.  There is a side to it that is so hard to understand.

We went to the Civil Affairs Bureau, and waitied.  Neither of our babies were there when we arrived.  Hubert and Vicki's son, W, came first.

Vicki holding her sweet little boy

The Keller's with their son and some orphanage workers

Then came Liesel.  

This was as close as she would get.  

Oh yes, there were tears. 

I gave hubs my phone to show her pics of Juliet.  He got closer....

And closer....

And closer still. 

She really didn't want anything to do with us, but hubs is so good with kids.  He won her over pretty quickly.  I did the first round of signatures and paperwork while he sat with her.  Then he had to go sign his name on several papers.  This is what happened when she had to sit with me.

"I don't think I want to sit with you, lady."

"Nope.  I don't!"

Then Daddy came back, and it got better...a little...maybe.  

The next day, we all had to come back to the Civil Affairs Bureau to finalize the adoptions.  It was at this appointment that we received our "red hard book".  It's a red book with a certificate in Chinese that says Liesel is ours and we adopted her.  Also at this appointment, we received her immunization record and her abandonment advertisement.  In China, when an infant is abandoned, they place an ad in the local paper to attempt to find the child's parents.  Liesel's ad was probably only three sentences, saying where she was found and when she was born.  It also had a picture of her.  She had a head-full of thick, wavy, black hair.  We were at the CAB office for about two hours finishing up the paperwork.  Liesel did surprisingly well at this appointment.

"Sealing the deal" with my thumb print.

Hubs's turn

Our family with an orphanage representative. 

After we left the CAB office, hubs, Liesel, Anna and I had to drive to Da Tong, the city of Liesel's birth, to apply for her passport.  Normally, this is done in the capital city of the province.  Da Tong has "control issues" as my adoption case manager put it.  Every child adopted out of Da Tong has to go there to apply for a passport.  So, we drove four hours up, went to the police station to apply, spent the night, and drove four hours back the next day (Wednesday, July 18).  I felt really bad for the Turner's and the Keller's, because while we were gone, they were stuck in Taiyuan with nothing to do and no guide!  That would make for a long two days!  

As much as I disliked being in Taiyuan, I was happy to get back so that we could at least be near some familiar faces.  The night we returned, Anna took all of us to a Chinese restaurant just around the corner from our hotel.  It was delicious!  It was also very nice to get out of the hotel and eat somewhere other than McDonalds or Pizza Hut for a change.  

On Thursday, Anna took us to....

Look very closely in the center of the photo

Yup...Walmart.  There is indeed Walmart in China, and I have been there.  Now I can die content!  It was very similar to our Walmart actually.  We wandered around for about 45 minutes, purchasing snacks, toys, pull-ups, anything we needed really.  In the afternoon, Anna took us to a huge park near our hotel that was acutally quite lovely.  The park had carnival rides for older kids/adults and a section for younger children too.  The kids rode a carousel and a mini roller coaster, but mostly, we just walked around the park.

On the Carousel

Get me away from this woman!  Where's Ba-ba?

On the roller-coaster

  

The park was very beautiful

The next morning was Friday.  We were leaving for Guangzhou that day, and none of us were sad to leave.  We'd all been told that we'd LOVE Guangzhou, and the Garden Hotel was fabulous.  We were all in need of a little fab at that point.  Liesel did well her first week with us, better than we expected.  She pretty much immediately bonded with hubs.  She rarely cried, and was very good with the Turner's daughter, M.  We also discovered that week that she was a very good eater.  We rarely put something in front of her that she wouldn't eat or at least try.  We also learned that she loves baths and loves to color.  She would stay in her bath until the water was ice cold and she was shivering.  Also, hubs had her nearly counting to ten by weeks' end!  She's quick.  Before leaving for the airport, we snapped one quick picture of all three families and Anna.

Left to Right: Anna, hubs, Liesel, me, the Keller's, the Turner's

And then we were on our way!