True Confessions of a Stay-at-Home Mom: Making Progress

People are constantly asking me, "How is Liesel doing?" A good question. The short answer is simply this, "She is doing better than we could have imagined possible."

When we got Liesel, she was screaming. Perhaps you remember those pics from my Adoption Story, pt. 2 post. We even had a few dicey days in China. She would be whiny, huffy, and generally a grump. She definitely preferred James to me, and would often begin to cry if he left to shower, go get food, etc... I distinctly remember driving back from the CAB on Gotcha Day thinking to myself, "What have we done?" But doesn't every new mother feel that way? I also distinctly remember feeling that way about Juliet during the first week or two of her life. She cried ALL. THE. TIME. Nothing calmed her, nothing. I'm very sorry to say this, but Baby Wise doesn't work for every baby! So as we drove away from the CAB, Liesel screaming, my thoughts wandered to a simpler time...a toddler-free time.

But then I remembered that this adoption thing, it's a calling. I believe that much like being a missionary in a foreign land, people who adopt are called to do so. No, God didn't audibly speak to me, rather, He planted seeds of desire, long before I knew what to do with them. When I was just a little girl, my heart strings were tugged when I watched Anne of Green Gables. When I met a child in school who was adopted, I found myself thinking how cool it was, and how awesome their parents must have been. Even as a child, God placed the desire to adopt on my heart, and to ignore it would have been to wander out of the boundaries of His will for me. That's why I tended to get a little bent out of shape when I came across someone who "didn't get it." And I have, believe me. For our family, failure to adopt would have been failure to be obedient to God. You'd think well-meaning, Christian people would understand that, right? Well, most did, but you'd be surprised.

So I put aside my doubts in that van that July 16th, put on my big girl pants and began the work of learning how to be a mom to a four year old. And God has blessed us so richly. Liesel and Juliet have been such a blessing to watch. I think they genuinely love each other, already. I always wanted a sister, so I'm so thankful that these two have each other. They play nicely together, most of the time. I've also had the opportunity to take Liesel out a few times to various places. She hasn't freaked out or thrown a fit once! The closest she came to loosing it was at the Austin Zoo. She did NOT like the chickens, roosters and peacocks roaming around. I should have known better as it took her about a week before she'd touch our cats. But after constant reassuring, and a train ride, she was enjoying herself even there. Finally, she's learning to communicate with us. She understands most of what we say but often doesn't know how to respond verbally. This morning, she dropped a toy on my foot and said, "Oh, sorry, Mama." YAY! She also counts to ten (she always forgets the six though), and she can sing the ABC song and Twinkle, Twinkle Little Star.

Perhaps the most exciting development is that we are bonding. My sweet girl is finally letting me into her heart. She cuddles with me, kisses me, hugs me, and leans on me. She doesn't like when I leave the room. She follows me around and wants to see what I'm doing, especially when I'm cleaning or cooking. Although when James is around, she still prefers him, but that's okay. We're making progress!

I said in a previous post that adoption is so hard. I've been meditating on that idea since I wrote that post, and I've come to the conclusion that it's hard because it's not God's perfect will. In God's perfect will, there would be no orphans. We (mankind) have messed it all up with our sinful ways. I think of the Turner's daughter, M, who was fortunate enough to be raised in a loving foster home complete with a mom, dad, grandma, grandpa and little sister. She was torn from them, and continues to grieve her loss. Why? Because there are restrictions in place that dictate how many children a family can have. Rest assured that this special family would have adopted her if they could have. But the Turner's are not the villains here, even though it's tempting sometimes to question what in the world God was doing. They are the heroes who stepped in and saved the day. This little girl had zero future. They rescued her out of her circumstances and are giving her a chance at life. They are giving her the opportunity to be whatever she wants to be, something she didn't have before. They have granted her all the rights and privileges they give their biological children. Adoption may not be God's perfect plan, but it is a perfect picture of what He does for us, every time a sinner places his faith in the Savior. Even though we live in a fallen world, we see glimpses of God's grace and mercy. Adoption is one of those glimpses.

I'm blessed to have been called to this path, and I'm blessed to have Liesel. Not every day is or will be easy, that's okay. We continue to be so thankful to you who have prayed, encouraged, brought food, asked about our progress, etc... Thank you for loving on our family.