Valentine's Day

Monday is Valentine's Day.  Do you have plans with your spouse, boyfriend, girlfriend??  I do.  I have no idea what my hubby is planning, but I do know it involves dinner...possibly chocolates??  Needless to say, I'm looking forward to it.  Any date is always welcome, especially now that we are parents.  Time alone is precious, and I'm going to enjoy it.  Since Valentine's Day is fast approaching, I thought I'd focus on the obvious topic, love.

I'm sure you've read a similar blog post.  I've seen a few lately about ways to love your husband.  While these are filled with great ideas, the truth is that every person is different.  For example, in a recent blog post that I read, the author said that a wife could wash her husband's clothing for him as a way to show her love.  Well, in my house, that just doesn't happen!  It's not that I'm unwilling, it's just that my husband's mother taught him long ago to launder his own things.  He has a system...I have NO idea what it is.  To tell you the truth, I'm not even sure where he keeps his dirty clothes.  Is that funny or what?!  So, as a result, I do my laundry, the baby's laundry, towels and sheets, and he does his own.  This is not a practical suggestion for me.

I'm a huge fan of the book, The Five Love Languages.  While I'm a staunch believer that every person is an individual and you can't put people in a box, I also believe there are some definite truths and principals in this book that can be applied to relationships.  For example, my husband is a personal touch/words of affirmation person (by the way, I am neither of those).  So, cleaning up the house for him, doing his laundry, washing his towels, making dinner for him, etc...while he appreciates those things, they don't scream, "I love you" to him.  Honestly, I could work all day cleaning the house and when he came home, he probably wouldn't even notice!  This used to frustrate me, but now I just relax and praise the Lord that my hubby isn't really worried about whether the house is spotless or not.  It also means that I've had to learn how to "speak his language."  As you might imagine, I'm the total opposite of him.  I'm an acts of service/gifts person.  So to me, all of those service type actions I mentioned earlier mean a lot to me, which is probably why I do them.  Also, I buy him little gifts.  I'll see something small at the grocery store that reminds me of him, or something I know he'll like, and I buy it.  Again, since this isn't his love language, often times, he doesn't appreciate it the way I think he should.  All these differences in the way we feel loved have led to some misunderstandings and arguments over the years.  But I'm not completely dense, I have learned how to make my hubby feel loved.  So for all of you out there with a physical touch/words of affirmation spouse, here's a list of things to try, not just at Valentine's Day, but all year long!

~ Say I love you to him before he says it, ALWAYS.  Don't wait for him to say it first.  If possible, make it the very first thing you say to him when you wake up and the last thing you say to him before you go to bed.
~ Always "talk him up" to others.  He'll love it!
~ Tell him right away when he's done something you really appreciate.  Tell him why you appreciate it, and how it makes you feel.  My hubby loves knowing when he's done something that makes me happy.
~ Express to him verbally how much you love and respect him.  Thank him for things he does around the house on a regular basis.  The key is affirming him with your words!
~ Tell your hubby you think he's a hunky babe.  I know my guy loves this!
~ My husband LOVES it when I make him a home-made card for a special occasion, like V-Day or our anniversary.  He's kept all the ones I've made for him.
~ Make time for cuddles.  Even if it's just for 10 minutes in the morning before you get ready for the day, or at night after the kiddos are asleep.
~ (I borrowed this one from a blog I read recently...can't remember which one, just know it's not my idea) Hold hands with your hubby in public as often as possible.
~ Let your hubby kiss you or hug you in public...don't be afraid of a little PDA.
~ Lavish kisses on your man.  Never with-hold a kiss when you can give it.  This is one I have to work on because I'm not a touch person, but I try!

Make a resolution to love your spouse, not just on Valentine's Day, but every day throughout the year.  It's an investment that will be well worth your time.  Happy Valentine's Day people!