What is God doing?

Do you ever find yourself asking that question?  If you are anything like me, you ask it almost daily.  We are in a season of our lives where it just feels like God's answer to EVERYTHING is, "Wait, child...just wait."  Ummm...really?  So, I hate waiting.  And somehow, I don't think I'm alone!

No, there is nothing seriously wrong.  No one is dying, no one has cancer.  My baby is fine, my husband is fine, our extended families are fine, mostly.  But there are some things that God seems to want us to wait through.  One item on this list is our house hunt.  We've never really actively tried to buy a house before, so maybe this is just totally normal.  Twice now, we have found a home we loved.  Twice now we've had to let that home go; first because the seller wouldn't come down enough for us, and second because an offer was made before we could get one in.  It's very disappointing.  You start to imagine yourself in a home, and then before you know it, it's no longer a possibility.  I'm learning not to get my hopes up.  Although I know intellectually that God is before me preparing a way for our family and a home for our family, it's just so hard to...well, you know...wait.

Then there's our adoption.  They really shouldn't call it "adoption", they should just call it "waiting".  Right now, we are working on answering questions...a myriad of questions about our lives, families, philosophies on parenting, etc...   We are also waiting until we know what house we are going to buy so that we can get the layout of the new place for the documents the social worker will use.  I have all sorts or worries related to this.  Here are a few: What if we have to wait years for a baby?  What if our insurance won't cover the baby? What if we don't have enough money for the cost of the adoption?  What if the baby doesn't adjust well to living with us?  What if I'm too old to have more babies of our own when the adoption is final?  I could really drive myself crazy with all the "what if's."  I literally have to give this over to God on a daily basis.  Ultimately, the fact is that we believe God is leading us to do this now, so we just have to trust Him, even though it means a lot of waiting.

Finally, there's our church.  We have to find a new one.  Some of you may have read my post on the problematic sermon our pastor taught last week before I took it down.  Let's just say that after a few days of praying, my husband and I are grieved to say that we just can't stay in this church.  So now, we wait.  We are daunted by the task of having to find a new church after nine months in the same place.  We are saddened that just as we were beginning to feel "plugged in", we have to abandon all the progress we'd made. We are wondering whether or not there were warning signs that we missed...were we really listening to God when we decided to go to this church?  But most importantly (and keeping with the theme of this post) it means we have to wait.

While I don't love waiting, I definitely see the benefits of it.  You see, when I have to wait, I spend a lot more time on my knees.  I talk with God a lot more because I need to know I'm still on the right track.  It's easy to get lost in the wilderness, so more than ever when I'm waiting, I need the light of God's truth to light my path.  And He is always faithful.  Even in the midst of this wilderness we seem to be walking through, a place where our future is so uncertain, we know that God is still with us, still guiding us, still walking beside us as He leads us toward the promised land.