God speaks--Charity listens

This is the first year that I've been able to do a ladies Bible study during the day.  In past years, I've been working.  It's only been since I've been staying at home with my daughter that I've had the opportunity to join one.  In the course of the previous two semesters, I'm positive that God has been communicating with me.  No, I'm not nuts.  I don't hear voices or anything like that, rather a recurring theme keeps popping up everywhere I look.

"God is who He says He is.  God can do what He says He can do."  That's it.  Simple, right?  Well, I guess at the surface it seems simple.  Yes, I believe that God is God!  I also believe He's all powerful.  But like many things in life, there is a huge difference between what I know intellectually to be true, and what I believe in a way that manifests itself in my day to day life...what I live out.  Here's another word from God that goes hand in hand with what's above.  "And without faith it is impossible to please Him, for whoever would draw near to God must believe that He exists and that He rewards those who (earnestly) seek Him."  I added the earnestly.  My version of the Bible doesn't have it, but I think it fits quite well.  This verse is Hebrews 11:6.  Now, what are the odds that both the Bible studies I've been involved in this past year would have this verse as a cornerstone of the material?  Like I said, I'm pretty sure that's God.  Even just last week, we were trying out a new church on Sunday, and the pastor's sermon series was on faith.  He put up on the screen essentially what I said first, that God is God and He can do all things.  I leaned over to my hubby and said, "There it is again!"

Now, here's the million dollar question...what exactly is God trying to tell me?  You can probably imagine that this recurring theme in my everyday life has brought with it an impending sense of dread.  Sometimes, I almost wonder to myself, "God, what are you going to require of me, and will it be more than I can imagine?"  I'm terrified that He just might, and in some strange way, He's preparing me.  But maybe that's not it at all.

I know my faith is small.  I was confronted by that truth last summer.  I brought a request to God, and I didn't believe He would answer.  I knew He could, but I was suffering from "Thomas eyes syndrome".  Since then, God has been so faithful to me.  He has answered so many prayers that I don't even know where to start.  I started taking things to Him, earnestly believing He would answer, and in many cases, He has.  He was faithful when I was faithless, and I can honestly say that my faith has been strengthened over this past year.

I never thought that God would speak to me in this way.  I've always heard stories of people saying they heard God tell them something, and I always sort of marveled at the amount of faith they must have for God to want to use them.  Now I realize, these people weren't faith giants; they simply listened.  They turned off the noise, they quieted their hearts, and they listened to what God had for them.  And it only took me 30 years to figure this out!  "God, what do you have for me, today?"